Screens
Managing screen time
Screen time is one of the most common sources of family conflict. For many neurodivergent children, screens are not just entertainment — they are a primary regulation tool, a social space, and a source of predictability.
What to do
- Recognise the regulatory function screens serve before trying to reduce usage. Ask yourself: "If I take this away, what will meet this need instead?"
- Use visual or auditory warnings before a transition away from screens — give the child time to reach a save point or natural stopping place.
- Co-create a screen plan with the child that includes agreed times, rather than imposing limits unilaterally.
- Offer alternative activities that meet similar needs (predictability, low social demand, interest-based engagement).
- Be curious about what the child is doing on screens. Showing genuine interest in their online world builds connection.
What not to do
- Do not switch off screens without warning — this is experienced as a sudden loss of regulation and is likely to trigger a meltdown.
- Do not use screen time as currency (earning or losing minutes) as this increases the emotional stakes around an already charged topic.
- Do not assume all screen time is equal — passive video watching, creative gaming, and social connection are functionally different activities.
Scripts you can use
It is time to stop playing a game and the child is resisting.
Try saying
"I can see you're in the middle of something. Can you find a good stopping point in the next five minutes? I'll set a timer."
Avoid saying
"Your time is up, I'm turning it off now."
You are concerned about the total amount of screen time.
Try saying
"I've noticed screens are the main thing we do at the moment. Can we look at the week together and find one slot to try something different?"
Avoid saying
"You're on screens all day, it's not healthy."
The child becomes very distressed when asked to stop.
Try saying
"I can see this is really hard. Let's take a minute. The plan was to stop at four o'clock and it's five past — we can do the transition together."
Avoid saying
"This is exactly why I want to cut down your screen time."