Sleep
Settling and staying asleep
Sleep difficulties are one of the most common concerns for families of neurodivergent children. Difficulty settling, frequent waking, and early rising can affect the whole household and compound daytime challenges.
What to do
- Audit the sensory environment of the bedroom — lighting, sounds, bedding texture, temperature — and make adjustments collaboratively with the child.
- Establish a calming wind-down routine that begins at least 30 minutes before the expected sleep time.
- Reduce screen exposure in the hour before bed, particularly from devices with blue light.
- Consider whether the child needs a presence while falling asleep and whether gradual withdrawal is appropriate.
- Keep a brief sleep log for one to two weeks to identify patterns before seeking professional advice.
- Discuss melatonin supplementation with a clinician if sleep onset is consistently delayed beyond what environmental changes can address.
What not to do
- Do not use bedtime as a punishment or send the child to their room as a consequence during the day, as this creates a negative association with the sleep space.
- Do not force the child to lie in the dark doing nothing if they are unable to fall asleep — offer a quiet, low-stimulation alternative.
- Do not assume the child is being defiant; sleep-onset difficulties are often neurological, not behavioural.
Scripts you can use
The child says they cannot sleep and keeps coming downstairs.
Try saying
"Your body might not feel ready for sleep yet. Let's try your audiobook in bed for a bit, and I'll check on you in ten minutes."
Avoid saying
"Just close your eyes and go to sleep" or "If you come down again there will be consequences."
The child is anxious at bedtime and listing worries.
Try saying
"Those worries sound really big tonight. Shall we put them in the worry box and look at them together in the morning?"
Avoid saying
"There's nothing to worry about" or "You're overthinking things."
The child wakes in the middle of the night and cannot get back to sleep.
Try saying
"I'm here. Let's keep the lights low and try your breathing together."
Avoid saying
"It's the middle of the night, just go back to sleep."